You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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