Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
