he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you never un-have a 4some
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
