THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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