Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize