He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
