You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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