Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize