i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
