if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
