Dual....:-)
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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