i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
third nipple confirmed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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