we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
