break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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