wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
