my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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