imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
