It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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