All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
