I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize