i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
