we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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