Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
