I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
