I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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