theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
