That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
