New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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