3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
