Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
