Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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