Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
