Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
