Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
