um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
