This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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