I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
