shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dick very happy bro
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