U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far Iām loving being divorced. :-)
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize