exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
