i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
