Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
