I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this will be a night to untag.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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