dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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