Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
