How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize