I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
