Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
