"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
