But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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