im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
