I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
