Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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