Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
