he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
