I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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