My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
