A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So much Jack, so little girl.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
